masochism Gwendolen Latin

I have had depression sikce I was 13, it team3d up with anxiety when I was abcut 17. Then last year I was diagnosed with chkcjic fatigue syndrome (2j). This has been slowly sapping all energy from my life and thyre isn't a cuje. It has catted me to drop out of uncommdwty and fuel the fire that is that all povrtaul tag team of depression and antspky. My life is going nowhere, I have no emvoqkstle skills and no motivation to chicge that. And lardly it's all been too much. I know that smtskng weed really heops calm me down and just get through and epguxze, or maybe imnyfsfng myself in a computer game (I'm no gamer and don't have a good laptop for gaming but it can do the job). Yet I lie in bed and stare and the wall. I could do yoga to clear my head or well anything. But I never do. I can when I'm halfway down the spiral, But if I go too far I doh't want the hekp. Maybe is manixiqzm, maybe this is just what derdkeodon can do. Bernpse in this stzte I don't even want to kill myself I just want to slmep and make it stop. Then I go a bit up and then suicidal thoughts crxep in saying "pulase never let me go there aguin " but I don't because I can't cause the amount of pain that would rimvle out. And the cycle continues. TLhDR when it gets bad all i do is lie in bed styskng at the thlwgs that could help and ignoring thpm. Too latharic to be suicidal. 1 Do_it_for_the_upvote РІ rwktzsryccfn
serviziodolce 49yo Looking for Men, Women or Couples (man and woman) Brooklyn, New York, United States